Roommate horror stories are pretty popular topics of conversation at college. Everybody’s got them. Follow a few simple guidelines to ensure you're not the awful roommate everyone's talking about—and learn to deal with your terrible roommate.

大學(xué)生之間聊天時(shí)常常談及室友那些惹人厭的事跡，每個(gè)人都可以講出一些。如果你想確保自己不是每個(gè)人口中的煩人室友，或者想學(xué)習(xí)和糟糕室友的相處之道，有幾條簡(jiǎn)單準(zhǔn)則你可照辦。

I know bad roommates. Last year my noisy, inconsiderate roommate constantly woke me up around three in the morning. Her side of the room was always messy and covered with clothes. Her suitcase from Christmas break didn’t move from the middle of the room all second semester. She used my makeup. She ate my food. One night, her boy toy stole my pillow off my bed. While I was sleeping on it. And she brought a kitten to live in our room (which, just by the way, is totally against dorm policies). Y’all, I don’t like cats. Not even kittens. But who did the kitty like best? Me. Whose bed did it sleep on? Mine. Who did it wake up every morning to be fed? Me.

我有一個(gè)煩人的室友。去年，我室友常常制造噪音，不顧及我的感受，常在凌晨三點(diǎn)把我吵醒。房間里她那一側(cè)通常是亂哄哄的，衣服到處都是。圣誕節(jié)假期返校后帶來(lái)的行李箱一直放在房間中央——整個(gè)第二學(xué)期就沒(méi)挪過(guò)地。她用我化妝品，吃我東西。一天夜里，她的小白臉從正在熟睡的我的腦袋下偷走了我的枕頭。此外，她在我們寢室安頓了一只小貓咪(提一句，這完全違背了寢室制度)。好吧，我不喜歡貓，可愛(ài)的小貓咪也無(wú)感。但小貓咪最喜歡的是誰(shuí)呢?我。它睡誰(shuí)床上呢?我的。每天早上它醒過(guò)來(lái)給她喂食的是誰(shuí)?我。

Oh, and it gave our room fleas. FLEAS.

哦，跳蚤也跟它一起住進(jìn)了我們寢室。

While my rooming situation left much to be desired, I know that I probably wasn’t the perfect roommate either. However, my roommate and I were still able to get along together fairly well (all things considered) and managed to end the year on good terms. There are a few basic things you can do to help start off a successful roommate relationship and some tactics to help alleviate even the worst of rooming circumstances.

我寢室的狀況差強(qiáng)人意，我知道我作為室友可能也不完美。但是，我們兩人仍然能夠相處得非常好(如果所有事情都考慮在內(nèi)的話)，我們?cè)诤椭C的氛圍中走過(guò)了去年。做到這幾件基本的事情，將有助于建立成功的室友關(guān)系;寢室局勢(shì)惡劣至極時(shí)，有幾樣技巧將起到緩和之作用。

Respect Each Other

相互尊重

First and foremost, you need to respect your roommate. I know, sometimes, it’s really hard. But when you’re living in tight quarters with the same person (or people), if you don’t respect them first, they sure as hell won’t respect you. Your parents have hopefully been teaching you what respecting others mean since you were about four. The same rules apply in college as they did in preschool.

首先和首要的，你要尊重你的室友。我知道有時(shí)真的很難。只是你和同一個(gè)人(或同一群人)生活在局促的方寸之間，如果你不展現(xiàn)你的尊重，你也必然得不到他們的尊重。想必你的父母從你四歲就開(kāi)始教給你怎樣才算尊重別人了吧。學(xué)前班的規(guī)則同樣適用于大學(xué)。

Be Considerate – If your roommate is sleeping or attempting to sleep, keep the noise and light levels down. If your roommate is studying, don’t have loud conversations in the same room. It really should be common sense, but it is truly amazing how people don’t understand what it means to be considerate. If in doubt, ask yourself if you would be annoyed if your roommate did whatever it is you would like to do to you. If the answer is no, take it elsewhere.

顧及別人。如果你室友已經(jīng)睡著或正試圖入睡，調(diào)低你的音量和光亮。如果你室友正在學(xué)習(xí)，不要在他學(xué)習(xí)的房間內(nèi)大聲交談。這真的只是常識(shí)，可人們卻不懂得怎樣去顧及別人，確實(shí)令人吃驚。如果對(duì)此有疑問(wèn)，問(wèn)問(wèn)自己，如果正在做你想做的事的人是你室友,你會(huì)否感到被攪擾。如果答案是不想被打擾，那就另尋他處吧。

Keep It Clean – Seriously, I cannot emphasize how many horror stories I have heard about dirty roommates. Hair in the shower, toothpaste gelled to the sink, bathrooms littered with magazines or dirty clothes. It’s gross. Respect means keeping your side of the room clean. Now, I’ll admit, I’m a rather messy person. I don’t like picking up my clothes, the concept of drawers, or making my bed. But at least once a week, I pick all of my stuff up off the ground and make my side of the room clean again. It’s a good habit to get into and it will make you a better roommate. And hopefully, if your roommate sees you keeping your side clean, they’ll be more inclined to keep theirs clean.

保持衛(wèi)生。我不再?gòu)?qiáng)調(diào)我聽(tīng)過(guò)了多少惱人經(jīng)歷是和關(guān)于臟兮兮的室友相關(guān)的。淋浴留下的頭發(fā)，洗手池上粘的牙膏，浴室里雜志或臟衣服亂扔。惡心。尊重的意思就是房間你那一側(cè)保持干凈。我承認(rèn)，我不愛(ài)整潔。我不喜歡撿拾衣服，收拾抽屜，整理床鋪。但是一周我至少有一次，把我的東西從地上撿起來(lái)，把房間里我那一側(cè)打掃干凈。會(huì)讓你成為一個(gè)更好的室友。還有，你室友看到你那一側(cè)衛(wèi)生保持得很干凈，他們也有望保持他們那一側(cè)的干凈。

Keep Your Hands Off Their Stuff – Respecting your roommate means respecting their stuff. I already told you my former roommate used my makeup, usually without asking. Just don’t do it, especially with personal items like brushes and stuff like that. It’s gross. If you really need to borrow something of theirs, always, always ask before you do. If they say no, don’t get offended. Some people just don’t like other people using their stuff. This goes especially for food. It’s super annoying to open the fridge and see that your lunch that you planned to eat is now gone. If you eat your roommate's food, it is absolutely your responsibility to replace it.

不要碰室友的東西。尊重室友意味著尊重他們的物品。我前邊說(shuō)過(guò)，前任室友常問(wèn)都不問(wèn)就用我的化妝品。不要這么做，特別是像刷子這種私人物品。亂動(dòng)私人物品很惡心。如果確實(shí)需要借用，務(wù)必用之前提出請(qǐng)求。如果他們不借，那就別得罪他們了。一些人就是不喜歡別人用自己的東西。特別是食物。打開(kāi)冰箱，發(fā)現(xiàn)自己打算吃的午餐不翼而飛真的超級(jí)冒火。假如你吃了室友的食物，換一份新的絕對(duì)是你的義務(wù)。

Set Ground Rules

建立基本規(guī)則

Now that we’ve reviewed what it means to respect each other, you and your roommate should also establish some ground rules. It may sound a little Type-A personality, but it’s really just better to set up what each of your pet peeves are before the year gets rolling. For instance, I really don’t like it when people have phone conversations in the room while I’m studying. I don’t multitask very well, and I’d rather be writing my paper on Roman gladiators than listening to you tell your best friend about your raging weekend. Here is a list of things that you and your roommate should touch on as far as ground rules go:

我們?cè)u(píng)論了相互尊重意味著什么，你和室友可能也建立了某些基本規(guī)則。這可能聽(tīng)起來(lái)有點(diǎn)A型人格，但是在過(guò)起日子前確實(shí)弄清你們的小癖好是什么。比如，我不喜歡別人在我學(xué)習(xí)時(shí)講電話。我不擅長(zhǎng)處理多進(jìn)程任務(wù)，我寧愿寫(xiě)一篇羅馬格斗士的論文而不是聽(tīng)你向你最好的朋友講述你的憤怒周末。這有一個(gè)清單，說(shuō)明你和室友建立基本規(guī)則時(shí)所應(yīng)設(shè)計(jì)的事情。

Talking on the phone – inside the room, outside the room, on the balcony, in the closet, whatever. Make a compromise, but the tie should go to the person studying.

講電話——室內(nèi)，室外，陽(yáng)臺(tái)，衣柜，哪里都行。學(xué)會(huì)妥協(xié)，但是限制應(yīng)有學(xué)習(xí)的人決定。

Smoking – This. Is. So. Important. If you have a balcony, establish if it’s okay for the smoker to smoke on the balcony. Be careful if you agree to smoking on the balcony or you could end up with your roommate’s chain smoking friends living out on your balcony. I don’t think smoking is allowed in any dorm room, but make sure to set your expectations early.

吸煙——這很重要。如果你有陽(yáng)臺(tái)，確定是否可以在陽(yáng)臺(tái)上吸煙。注意，如果你同意陽(yáng)臺(tái)可以吸煙，那么可能最終你朋友的一串煙友都有可能在你陽(yáng)臺(tái)上安營(yíng)扎寨。我認(rèn)為任何一間寢室都不應(yīng)準(zhǔn)許吸煙，但是確保及早設(shè)立預(yù)期。

Visitors of the intimate kind – This seriously could warrant its own post. If you have someone of special interest with you, you need to remember that the room belongs to two people. Set up a sexile system. Rubber bands on the door work, but everyone in the world knows what that means. Try a post-it note or piece of tape on the door, drawing a shape on the nametags on your door, or some other symbol that will clue in your roommate that they probably do not want to walk into the room. Include a time limit! Really, it shouldn’t be longer than an hour. If you need more time, well, you know, I can’t help you. Compromise with your roommate. If you are the sexilee, be patient. College is an exciting, hormonal time and your roommate will sometimes (or very often) put his/her libido ahead of your convenience. Find comfort in the fact that they’ll have to offer you the same consideration when you get your chance of love. Additionally, check with your roommate if they’re comfortable with your lover spending the night if this proves to be the case. If they’re not, respect their wishes.

親密愛(ài)人之類的訪客——嚴(yán)肅點(diǎn)，這個(gè)問(wèn)題理應(yīng)有一席之地。如果有人對(duì)你愛(ài)欲迸發(fā)，記住房間屬于兩個(gè)人。建立性愛(ài)通知制度。在門(mén)上綁上個(gè)橡膠帶會(huì)起作用，但地球人都知道意思是什么。試試便利貼或膠帶，在門(mén)上名簽畫(huà)個(gè)身體，或者其他什么標(biāo)志，只要能給你室友暗示，不希望他們進(jìn)入房間。還要考慮時(shí)間限制，不應(yīng)超過(guò)一個(gè)小時(shí)。如果需要更長(zhǎng)時(shí)間，好吧，那我?guī)筒涣四懔恕：褪矣淹讌f(xié)。如果別人做愛(ài)你待在外，耐心點(diǎn)。大學(xué)生活很精彩，荷爾蒙洶涌，比起你的方便，室友有時(shí)(或常常)更多考慮他的力比多。令你安慰的是，當(dāng)你也有了愛(ài)愛(ài)的機(jī)會(huì)，他們會(huì)給予你同樣的體諒。此外，和室友確認(rèn)下，如果你愛(ài)人在寢室過(guò)夜，他們是否感到不適。如果是的，尊重他們的感受。

Cleaning – Discuss duties for cleaning and whose job it is to do what. Dividing responsibilities of cleaning will make keeping your room cleaner and it will help ease roommate tensions if you both pitch in. Taking out the trash, tidying the room, buying toilet paper, and washing the sink are just a few things to consider.

打掃衛(wèi)生——商議打掃衛(wèi)生的職責(zé)，明確各自負(fù)責(zé)的工作。劃分清潔責(zé)任會(huì)保持房間更整潔，如果雙放都參與進(jìn)來(lái)，緊張關(guān)系也會(huì)得到緩和。拿走垃圾，打掃房間，購(gòu)買(mǎi)廁紙，清洗洗手池，都是需要考慮的一些事情。

When All Else Fails…

如果所有都不奏效……

Sometimes, no matter how much you do, your roommate will still drive you crazy. When respecting, cleaning, and ground rules don’t get you where you want in your rooming situation, all is not lost, even if it seems like it. There’s still a certain amount of damage control that you can do.

有時(shí)，不管你做了多少，室友仍然讓你抓狂。當(dāng)尊重，整潔和基本規(guī)則都無(wú)法讓你得到你想要的寢室狀況，所有的都不管用，即便看起來(lái)如此，仍有一些破壞控制措施你可以采用。

Deal with it – There are just some things that you are going to have to get used to when living with another person. Sometimes, you just need to suck it up and deal with it. For the most part, the things that annoy you are minor things that you can put up with for just one year. If you have trouble keeping your annoyances under control, remember this quote from Robert Anton Wilson: “You are precisely as big as what you love and precisely as small as what you allow to annoy you.”

忍著—和別人同住，總有些事情要適應(yīng)。有時(shí)，接受，忍著。大多數(shù)情況下，煩擾你的都是你可以忍受一年的微小事情。如果你控制不了煩躁，記住Robert Anton Wilson的這句話：你所愛(ài)之物有多大，你就有多大;你所煩之事有多小，你就有多小。

Talk to your roommate – Sit down and have a conversation with your roommate about the key things that really irritate you about the situation. Maybe he snores. Maybe she keeps the TV on while you do homework. Whatever it is, don’t yell and don’t accuse. Be calm and friendly and simply explain your situation. Focus on the big aspects. If you start nitpicking or start getting mean, the situation will get out of control, nothing will get solved, and you’ll both be angry. Also, if you’re going to talk to your roommate about issues you have with them, you need to be able to take the issues that they might have with you. Be flexible and willing to compromise.

和室友談?wù)劇ｋp方坐下來(lái)，針對(duì)現(xiàn)狀中激怒你的關(guān)鍵所在交流一下?？赡芩蚝魢?，可能她在你做作業(yè)的時(shí)候看電視。不管是什么，不要大吵，不要指責(zé)。鎮(zhèn)定點(diǎn)，友好簡(jiǎn)潔地闡述你的現(xiàn)狀。從大處著眼。如果你一開(kāi)始吃毛求疵，小里小氣，局面將會(huì)失控，什么也解決不了，兩人都感到憤怒。此外，如果你打算和你室友談?wù)勊膯?wèn)題，你要能夠應(yīng)對(duì)他提出的有關(guān)于你的問(wèn)題。要具有彈性，愿意妥協(xié)。

Talk to your RA – Do not do this before you talk to your roommate. Going above your roommate’s head is inconsiderate. You are big boys and girls now. You can work your problems out by yourselves. However, if you’ve talked to your roommate and something is still really causing a big disagreement between you and you roommate, you might need to get an outside party involved. If the situation really is irreconcilable, there is usually a process that will transfer you to a different room with a different roommate.

告訴導(dǎo)員。在和室友溝通之前，不要走這一步。越過(guò)室友是不體諒的行為。你現(xiàn)在長(zhǎng)大了。你可以獨(dú)力解決你的問(wèn)題。如果你和室友溝通之后，兩人之間的分歧依然確實(shí)很大，這時(shí)你需要引入外部第三方了。如果局面不可調(diào)和，通常過(guò)程如下：你換到另外一間寢室擁有新的室友。

Get out of your room – This is probably the simplest of all solutions. When your roommate is in your room and doing something irritating, just leave the room. Go to the library or a campus computer lab if you need to study. Go to a friend’s room if you just need somewhere else to escape. Getting out of your room is good for you anyways, and some time away from your roommate will help keep tensions from getting too high.

走出房間——或許這是所有方案中最簡(jiǎn)單的一招了。要是你室友正在你房間中做什么讓你生氣的事情，那就離開(kāi)房間吧。需要學(xué)習(xí)，就去圖書(shū)館或計(jì)算機(jī)房吧。只是需要找個(gè)地方躲避，就去朋友房間吧。離開(kāi)房間不管如何都是對(duì)你好的，并且有些時(shí)候遠(yuǎn)離室友將有助于避免緊張升級(jí)。